What Grieving People Wish You Knew by Nancy Guthrie, Free for CAPC Members
Nancy Guthrie’s overwhelming message in What Grieving People Wish You Knew is to enter into the awkwardness and difficulty of loving grieving people.
Each Wednesday in What Memes Mean, Kirk Bozeman questions the significance, humor, and subtexts of viral videos, memes, and other Internet fads.
Look, I know you get frustrated.
You’ve got the presuppositional/evidential thing down pat, thoroughly worked through old vs. young earth creationism, and moved past a cursory reading of Case for Christ into all the obscure books in its most footiest of footnotes. And your heart is ready, really ready. You’re prepared for friendly, honest, patient discussion on things like the problem of evil and the authority of Scripture, and all the classic theistic philosophical arguments in chronological order. You’re ready to be an apologist.
And you walk out of the library with your head held high and immediately run into that guy. Often (though not always) an atheist, he’s the guy who — after a few minutes of “discussion” — has made it very clear that he doesn’t care at all about your hard work toward “faith seeking understanding.” He’s not taking you seriously in any way and obviously assumes that anyone with a faith commitment is intellectually flawed and incoherent. You try to tell him about Alvin Plantinga and warrant, but he rolls his eyes and starts back in.
It gets frustrating, I get it. You see the logical inconsistencies in his thinking that he refuses to see and the rude and abrasive way that he dismisses your attempt at friendly interaction. You start to feel that button-pushing is his main objective, not mutual understanding. You’re trying to have a genuine apologetic discussion, really are trying to be respectful, and it’s not being reciprocated in any way.
This “Christian meme” is obviously born of that frustration. This is a photo-caption meme pointed at that guy, lampooning him in the way he lampoons you, picking on him in the way he picks on you, fighting back. Because, frankly, don’t we all get tired of not saying something to that guy? Being ridiculed and not taken seriously gets old for anyone eventually.
And I’ll say this: Sometimes the loving, right thing to do with such folks is to call them out on their that-guy-ness, to let them know that you are trying to have a balanced, respectful discussion, and they’re not playing fair. As Christians, we don’t have take unfair and disrespectful debate lying down. There is certainly a time and place to stand up for ourselves.
But should this be done through passive photo-caption meme? Probably not. Not because we “sink to their level” (a very self-righteous phrase), but simply because it’s dangerous and unhelpful. I’ve found out from personal experience that snarkiness is rarely a good road to take — you’re setting out into dangerous territory. Someone is going to say something we will all later regret, and, personally, I feel that quite a few of these photo-caption memes are quite regrettable, even embarrassing.
Reign it in, guys. Write a well-worded essay, type up an edgy blog post, give a firm but kind word. Don’t make a venting, passive photo-caption meme, for goodness’ sake.
So I get it. I feel you, I really do. It’s frustrating. But we can handle these things better than this. And we must also remember that as Christians we have often been guilty of being that guy as well.
We learn this from Acts:
And Agrippa said to Paul, “In a short time would you persuade me to be a Christian?” And Paul said, “Whether short or long, I would to God that not only you but also all who hear me this day might become such as I am—except for these chains.” (Acts 26:28–29)
Remember, this is our end. And I really, really can’t see a snarky photo-caption meme getting us there.
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