The Saint Who Baptized Herself in a Tank of Rabid Sea Lions

Having thus cheated death twice, you might think that Thecla would abandon Christianity in favor of staying alive, but of course you’d be wrong.

Why the John 3:16 “Rainbow Man” Is Serving Multiple Life Sentences

We all expect to have important, dramatic lives. We all think we’ll turn out to be heroes. We’re just like Rainbow Man.

No, Easter Isn’t Pagan, Either: A Very D-List Saints Holiday Sequel (The Gritty Reboot)

So, if Easter did coincide with an Anglo-Saxon feast to a goddess no one’s ever heard of—well, I mean, coincidences happen.

The Time Communion Wafers and Wine Turned into Bloody Human Remains

It’s called the “Miracle of Lanciano,” mostly because “Holy crap, we have bleeding human remains on the altar” isn’t particularly catchy.

How to Practice Virtue (by Chasing Hookers Away with Red-Hot Pokers)

The great thinkers of the Mediterranean have already identified the seven virtues and how you can acquire them! It doesn’t get much easier than that.

How the Founder of American Evangelicalism Was Felled by Dirty Magazines

In the end, it wasn’t being at odds with his board of elders that brought Jonathan Edwards down—it was dirty magazines. Because, isn’t it always dirty magazines?

The Bizarre Reason Michelangelo’s Moses Has Horns

For several centuries, if you wanted to make sure the viewer knew you were sculpting Moses, you gave him horns. Weird, right?

The Saint Who Got Barbecued Alive

St. Lawrence was literally barbecued to death. And then the Catholic Church made him patron saint of chefs, presumably to rub it in.

No, Christmas Isn’t Secretly Pagan: A Very Merry D-List Saints Christmas Special (For the Whole Family)

The point is, it’s Christmas (or actually Advent, but since no one seems to understand the difference between Christmas and Advent, whatevs, call it Christmas if you want, sure)!

The Church Father Who Cut off His Junk

Jesus’ solution to your own sinful tendencies isn’t presented as inconveniencing, insulting, or harming the people around you—it’s presented as handicapping yourself.

The Christian Rock Star Who Put Out a Hit on His Wife

I like to think that, centuries from now, “Christian rock music” will be thought of as yet another inexplicable oddity of Church history, alongside Origen’s self-mutilation, the Crusades, and whatever it is with Lutherans and Jell-O.

That Time the World Didn’t End in 1844

Miller predicted Christ’s return based on all that stuff in Daniel about “time, times and half a time” that everyone pretends to understand but doesn’t.

The Only Reason You Drink Coffee Is Because 400 Years Ago a Pope Baptized Some Beans

Coffee culture is weird, you guys.

The Ladder That Pretty Much Only Jesus Can Move

Christianity was unusually unified at the time the Church of the Holy Sepulchre was built, but things have been falling apart (literally and figuratively) ever since then.

The Flagpole-Sitting, Maggot-Infested Saint of the Desert

Protip: when you’re too pious for monks, it might be time to dial it back a bit.

The Holiest City on Earth (Will Drive You LITERALLY INSANE)

A lot of dumb things have happened in Church history and in the Bible—and it’s through the dumb stuff that God is at work.