The Bachelor “Women Tell All” and the All-Seeing Eye of Judgment

We like being privy to insider information. We like feeling that our judgment is more righteous than others. We like being able to make an informed decision for Juan Pablo because we know the women better than he does. If you watched The Bachelor’s “The Women Tell All” finale special, you can read it all over the faces of the women in the audience. The eye rolls, eyebrow raises and nodding heads were consistent throughout the show. We, the audience, know what’s best for the contestants and the Bachelor.  

Small confession: I love competitive reality television. I love analyzing the contestants and their choices, I love discussing with my husband how I would have handled the situation, and in the case of Juan Pablo, I love noting how the women seem to forget the fact that the odds are not in their favor to be chosen, that there are better avenues of meeting someone and having a relationship. It’s amusing to watch women describe their romantic feelings for a man who is openly dating multiple women. It’s fun to watch the awkward moments and the drama unfold, all while secretly hoping that maybe this one relationship will be true love.

I am given an all-seeing eye. I see the dates and personal interactions that the other contestants are oblivious to. I hear the background stories of the contestants and I understand who would suit the Bachelor better, partially because I know him better too.

When bachelorette Kelly (the dog lover) calls out Lauren for complaining that Juan Pablo was not connecting with her on a deeper level, the camera switches to a group of women mouths open on the verge of giggling; we all know Lauren left in tears because Juan Pablo wouldn’t kiss her. After all, Lauren is a jaded bachelorette who was judiciously rejected when she asked for a kiss. Or how about the reaction Kelly got when she said that Juan Pablo used his daughter, Camilla, as an excuse for not kissing women he wasn’t into to? “He wasn’t saying ‘Camilla Camilla’ in the ocean [while making out with contestant Clare].” The audience roars with laughter and applause. They know Juan Pablo had the hots for Clare and never held back physically when given the opportunity with her.

We want to be like God – all-knowing deciders of what is right and wrong. Shows like The Bachelor are far from reality, but we ought to show its contestants some grace. We can’t know everything, even from our position. Producers often edit a show to create their own storyline. They spend more time on one girl than another. They highlight certain conversations over another. They give you the inside thoughts of the women who will propel the drama and intrigue.

I like the superior feeling reality TV gives me and the sense that I know more than the people participating in them. Watching the finale special helped me realize that I like The Bachelor because I’m a lot like that audience. I’m certain I know what’s best, and all too willing to ignore the only reality worth betting on: only God can judge.